I don’t believe I’ve ever written a letter with such an aggressive title, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. To the team at Worldwide Tacos, I write this open letter with such regret and disappointment. Regret that I even have to do this, and disappointment that my experience with your restaurant is what drove me to this. Since there’s no better place to start than the beginning, let’s go there.

I recently heard about your restaurant after watching the “Fresh-Like” episode of Insecure. While I won’t retell the scene, since you were there and most likely remember it, I can say that watching it was enough for me to get excited and make a trip there myself. After finding your business hours, I pulled into your parking lot for lunch during work last Monday. I got there at about noon ready to hop out of my car to place my order. Only problem, the restaurant was closed in spite of the business hours saying you would be open. That’s odd, how do you guys set your business hours and then not be there. Sounds like bullshit to me, but maybe I’m crazy. I decided to wait a bit longer in hopes I may have made the mistake. I called the phone number on your website, checked your social media pages only to have no one answer your line and not see a single update about you being closed. Oh yeah, your voice mailbox is full. With that, I figured you would show up soon. An hour later and the shop was still closed. I couldn’t stay another minute and ended up leaving the same way I arrived: with nothing.

Yesterday I was in the area again and gave you one last try. The doors were closed and the windows were covered and it immediately started to feel like Groundhogs Day — not the holiday, the movie. It wasn’t until I saw a person walk up to the window, shout for anyone’s attention that I realized you were there. So, let me get this straight: I have to yell for service? Like I’m on a bus shouting for the backdoor to be opened when the driver gets to my stop? I couldn’t believe it myself so I walked up to the window myself and low and behold screaming ‘hello’ was the only way to get someone to act like the store was open. After a few introductions, the person behind the window let me even though the restaurant was open during business hours, they weren’t taking orders at the window because he was working on a catering order. He added that the single taco I wanted would take 4 hours to be ready.

After waiting an hour a previous day only to leave empty handed and now to be at the restaurant to have a 4-hour wait for a single taco the only thing I could think was: you guys are full of shit.

You weren’t open when you said you would be. Why I had to wait for an hour for no reason is disrespectful of my time. On top of that, I wasn’t the only one waiting. There were other people sitting in your parking lot ready to give you money and you never showed up. Then the time I had to nearly hunt you down you said it would take 4 hours to make the taco “because they are fresh”. I’m not a mathematician, but that shit doesn’t add up.

• Are you making to tortilla by hand in the backyard?
• Are you personally cutting the chicken’s heads off?
• Are you pulling the lettuce and onions from the field?

No? Then there’s no excuse. You can start getting your produce from the farmers market in the morning like other chefs and still have fresh tacos, burritos, and sandwiches throughout the day. And if that’s not your thing, then you need to send an assistant out to do it for you.

On top of that, I’m incredibly disappointed that this is how you run your business after airing on Insecure. There are so many other restaurants that would love to have gotten that kind of publicity and if they had, they would have amped up in preparation for the rush of new customers. You on the other hand can’t even open at the time you say you will. Then you continue with the 4 hour wait time which is inexcusable. I adore Issa Rae, but I don’t care if she and a ton of Yelp reviewers say it’s worth the wait, it’s not. It’s only that long of a wait because of your lack of preparation being disguised as unique selling proposition. Just to throw this out there, Howlin Ray’s has a long wait, but it’s because there’s 60+ people in line, not because they’re running out to get ingredients that should already be in the kitchen.

Nothing as simple as a handful of tacos is worth that wait and anyone who says it is, is only validating your bullshit behavior. I can scream from the top of the mountaintops that 4 hours for a taco is senseless, but for comparative purposes, here’s a list of things that knowingly take an extended amount of time but are still likely to reach completion faster than getting an order from Worldwide Tacos:

1. Black girls getting their hair done the Saturday before Easter or Christmas services,
2. Reading War and Peace,
3. Getting from the 405 to the 10 to the 110 to the 210 freeways on a Thursday afternoon,
4. Childbirth,
5. A flight to Dubai with layovers in New York and Moscow,
6. Me paying off my student loans.

Now, while I say all of that please know that clearly there is something good in food that comes out of your restaurant. I wish I could say that from my own experience, but I never got the chance to eat it. Is that shade? No that’s facts. I can only note that “the food is delicious” from the reviews across social media, the fact the location is still open (when it wants to be apparently), and because it was featured in the HBO show. But as good as the food is, the customer service is seriously lacking. Instead of writing a letter stating my opinion and then calling it a day, I can also offer some suggestions that I think can reduce the amount of people disappointed in your wait times and customer service.

[1. Update Your Website]: As a restaurant, your website is missing a lot of the bare minimum information that should be listed for customers to know and see. From a single glance, it looks outdated and it doesn’t even show your business hours. If you don’t have the time to do it or even know how, shoot me an email (connect@followmygut.com) and I will gladly help you. I changed the color and underlined it in hopes you would see it and so you know I’m serious.

[2. Actually Open During Your Business Hours]: If you say you’re open at 11:30am, 12:00pm, or 1:00pm, be there. Matter of fact, be there prior to that time. Turn the lights on, remove the towel covering your window, answer the phone when people call, and actually be open. If you can’t do that, then you need to make an announcement on all of your social pages that you are closed and put a notice on your shop. If I saw even a yellow post it that said you were closed on your door I wouldn’t have wasted an hour of my day. A little consideration goes a long way.

[3. Your Menu is Out of Control]: Seriously it’s too much. There’s a running joke that the menu at the Cheesecake Factory is as long as the bible and no one says it in a good way. Your menu of 250+ items is overwhelming. Unless you’re trying to recreate a food version of the New Testament, then you should cut a few things. My suggestion: be honest with yourself, look at your numbers, and remove anything that really isn’t a strong seller. If you’ve only sold 8 mango chipotle salmon tacos throughout the summer, maybe it’s time to let it go. Sure it’s your baby, but it’s a dumb baby that no one wants. Get rid of it and turn your menu into a list of only power player flavors. If a person happens to come by and request it, make it have you the ingredients. If not, then take note of it and if the demand is high enough slowly bring it back. But 100+ tacos that are essentially replicas with variances in meat is overkill.

[4. Staff Up]: I don’t even know if you have a team helping you behind the window, but if you do you need more. Whether you get employees or volunteers you need a few more hands to help you out. Having some extra help could significantly reduce a customer’s wait time and get orders completed. Then you’ll have a happy customer (and hopefully repeat business). Just for context, I work for a major company near you and would have loved to have tried your tacos and then had you guys cater our meetings. I mean, if you don’t like money then sure don’t staff up, but if you’re an entrepreneur with a pulse then something tells me you do.

[5. Do Better]: You need to realize that you’re a small minority owned business in a major food city such as Los Angeles. People are spending so much money on food and will leave at the sight of bad customer service. If your restaurant sucks, they will go to another. I’m not sure if you’ve become complacent or if you just don’t care, but you need to realize that’s the competition you’re in and adjust your business accordingly. You may have the love of Issa Rae, but your still a relatively small fish in the big pond of this food community. Cut the bullshit, straighten up, and do better. You’re a representation of your community and the people in it, set a standard for yourself and conduct yourself like you care.

Let me reiterate, I get that people say the food is good. The reviews from those who have actually eaten the tacos, burritos, and sandwiches say the food is worth the wait and if you’ve gotten this far in this letter then you can already assume that my feelings aren’t mutual. Instead, what I had were two failed attempts to get anything from the double panned window at Worldwide Tacos. Walking away from the empty parking lot with nothing but hunger pains I have to say that my miserable visits left me bitter writing this letter. But with everything I’ve written, I know you can do better. However as of now, I don’t plan on recommending your restaurant nor do I foresee myself returning for a third time only to face the possibility of a similar if not a more abysmal experience. It’s as simple as this: fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me a third time and I clearly have nothing better to do with my time.